Exploring Our Vocation through Discernment and Decision-Making

Exploration of Vocation

Discernment and Decision-Making ⁽¹⁾

 

A vocation is a gift from God. It is a deep call from the heart. Be attentive to that call.

The two main Greek words translated as "discernment" are

·         anakrino, meaning to examine or judge closely, and
·         diakrino, to separate out, to investigate, to examine, to sort.

When it comes to making decisions on life, one thought that often crosses our mind is that we are at odds with God regarding our happiness. You want to make decisions in your life that will bring you happiness. You and God are not working at cross purposes, but for the same goal.

A strong tug at our hearts might be a wake-up call, but it is not in itself the definitive sign of a vocation.  However, your reaction is the correct one, to check into it farther especially if the thought has been recurring.   

That’s where discernment skills come in.  Good discernment skills will help serve as a guide, directing you to movements and graces that can help examine and sort out your decisions.

 

Good discernment and decision-making marks the common area of the following four questions:

1.      What do I deeply enjoy about who I am and what I do? (Passions and Desires)

2.      What talents do I have naturally?  What gifts have I most developed? (Gifts and Talents)

3.      What does the world around me need right now? (Conscience Ethics)

4.      Which option is best for me?  Which option will be best in providing service to the world?  (Needs of the World)

In the process you deal with two persons:  you and God.  And during the process you will get to know both better.  As you begin remember both you and God ultimately desire the same thing - your happiness.

The process of discernment, though often a struggle, is not a complicated one.  It involves four steps.

Step 1:  Get To Know Yourself. 

Examine your likes and dislikes, your fears and your dreams, your hopes and your interests, your abilities or talents, and your limitations.  Get to know how you work under stress, what kind of leadership you respond to, how much structure you need in your life.  Get to know and understand how your own expectations for yourself can lead you to make choices.  Name your honest feelings.  Can you trust them?  What is your gut-level intuition?

See how others view you in the work situation, under stress, or at leisure. Reflect how you view others. Are you able to accept others, to work with them?

As you get to know yourself, accept what you find.  Often times you will find that you are harder on yourself than you need be.  Love yourself for all your strengths and weaknesses.

Try and keep a journal to record your feelings over a period of time. Going back over this journal and reflecting on changes in our feelings and ideas will give a picture of the person you are. Or make a timeline of your life’s story. 

 

Step 2:  Be In Touch With The Lord. 

Develop a life of prayer, not just in times of crisis, but regularly. No relationship develops between persons unless they listen to each other.  Learn to listen to the Lord in prayer and not merely to ask him to listen to you. You have to spend time with him, listen to him, be honest with him, and occasionally be willing to wait on him.

Prayer is a highly personal response to a personal love that God has for you individually. Because you are unique, your prayer response is going to be unique. Don't hesitate to experiment with various forms of prayer until you find those which best express your relationship with the Lord.

One way to look at a call from the Lord is to see him acting all through your life. God created you with a unique personality, and allowed you to experience a personal history. Your personality and personal history are part of your call. And, part of your prayer relationship with God.

Many good books are available on prayer today. One you might consider is: Praying Our Experiences by Joseph F Schmidt.  Br. Joseph offers keen insight, practical suggestions and the reassurance to open ourselves to the richness of our life experiences embraced in the loving mystery of God.

Look for the evidence of God's love in nature, in the circumstances of your life, in other people. God is active in every aspect of your life. The better you come to know the Lord, the more you will be able to perceive God at work in your life.

 

Step 3:  The Decision-Making Process. 

As you get to know yourself more and your relationship with the Lord prayerfully gather the facts about your decision. Consider alternatives. Write out the pros and cons of each alternative. Try to project what effect each alternative will have on you five and ten years from now.

As you gather the facts for the alternative life choices open to you, be particularly attentive to your feelings. If you have been open and honest with yourself in Step 1 and with the Lord in Step 2, you can trust your feelings. Choose what appears is best for you and what God is calling you to.

 

Step 4:  Confirm Your Decision. 

After you have made your decision, spend time in prayer for an extended period to see if the decision still seems right. If it is, there would normally be a continuation of inner peace and satisfaction. This period of confirmation should go on for an extended interval, several weeks or more, to be sure that the peace you feel is true tranquility and not simply the relief that follows a difficult decision.

Discernment is more than just a skill. Discernment is a gift from God before it is anything else. Yet there are clearly skills you put to use in using your gift, and you can become better at it through practice, training, and experience.  Sometimes when the answers seem distant, you may find you need to repeat one or more of these steps.  Ultimately, through discernment, we discover that God wants only whatever is good for us whatever brings wholeness and leads to holiness. For "I have come that you may have life, life in abundance.” (John 10:10)

 

There are numerous reflection tools to help with the discernment process.  The reflections listed here we utilize in various programs we offer. These are designed to facilitate exploring deeper into the choices you are facing. 

Examen of Conscience

Personal Reflection Questions

 

[1] Diagram adapted from Stephen R. Covey, The Eighth Habit:  From Effectiveness to Greatness (New York: Free Press, 2004.)